Suffering from Joe-fusion!

tFidy: Guys, I’m seriously confused!

Clutch: What’s the problem?

tFidy: I’m trying to keep things straight in the GI Joe stuff out there… and it’s got my head spinning!

Shipwreck: Can’t you get replacement parts when that happens?

tFidy: I’m being serious… there’s the new Joe Comic, which is basically a re-launch, similar with a modern take to it. Then there’s the “Real American Hero” comic, which picks up where the Marvel series ended… the Joes are outlaws, it’s got a very 90’s vibe to it.


Shipwreck: Which we like! Makes me want to catch an episode of Wings.



tFidy: I knew this maintenance droid who reminded me of Lowell… but he didn’t go to Murray’s Institute of Tools, funny guy…

Clutch: Did you notice that I was in the latest issue? Finally!

tFidy: That was cool. This book has ninjas, the brain wave scanner and the Baroness getting it on with Cobra Commander’s son Billy.

Shipwreck: It’s a cool book, but those aren’t exactly my favorite Joe things...

Clutch: Great picture of you on the cover there Ship!

tFidy: Ok, so I’m jumbling the two divergent continuities…

Shipwreck: Somebody stayed up too late watching Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns…

tFidy: And then I pickup a copy of GIJ Future Noir...


Clutch: Yeah that’s GI Joe in name only.


Shipwreck: It’s a mix of Super Joe, Blade Runner, the New Mutants/X Force with a dash of Caprica Appleseed.








tFidy: Finally that brings me to the GI Joe: Renegades cartoon. Like the Real American Hero comic the Joes are outlaws, and a good deal younger…















Clutch: The The Rise of Cobra, movie version of Ripcord is in it. He’s the “hip hop” version of me by the way … and he coined all the nicknames, so cool!

Shipwreck: Too bad he got killed off in the second ep!


Clutch: I’m hoping it goes all Captain America - he’s just stuck in a time loop and comes back from the dead.

Shipwreck: Wouldn’t hold my breath on that... Lady Jaye is in it though! We haven’t seen her since Hansen was “Um-bopping” their way up the pop charts.

Clutch: What with LJ’s accent? She from Brooklyn now? Let me tell you something, no one at Bryn Marw College talks like that.

Shipwreck: Still good to see her though… I think “classic” Lady Jaye - the hat and button down shirt, is showing up in next issue of “Real American Hero" brawling with the Baroness! It could be one for the ages!

tFidy: Check out how much the “young” Dukes from Noir and Renegade and look like Cannonball from XForce (top of the cover)!



















Shipwreck: Roadblock reminds me of Ryun from Gatchaman.



















Clutch: Mindbender’s young… no monocle and he has hair! He looks like a villain from Kim Possible. We loved KP, I’m just saying…



















tFidy: Cobra fronts as a pharmaceutical company… I knew those companies were bad news!

Shipwreck: The voice of General Hawk is Lee Majors (the $6 Million Man), so that’s kind of like having Mike Power making a cameo!








Clutch: And Scarlett is one of the girls from Saved by the Bell – the New Class.



tFidy: Funny how it always comes back to “The Bell!”











Shipwreck: Thing is Fids, each of the continuities out there have one or two things in common, but there’s only a few you can count on across all of them.

Clutch: The Baroness always wears glasses…

Shipwreck: …Snake Eyes never talks…

Clutch: ...and Storm Shadow’s always bat sh*t crazy!

Shipwreck: We put together this matrix to help you keep it all straight:




tFidy: Thanks, that helps clear a few things up. Think I’m going to hang with the Adventure Team fans, give those guys a yellow jump suit, a backpack helicopter & a Bulletman custom and they’re happy!




























Clutch: And Yetis… those guys love Yetis… don’t know why…
















Shipwreck: It’s a 70’s thing… like Vans.














tFidy: Think we can pick-up some Star Wars comics? There’s thousands of characters, but it’s easier to keep straight than the multiple Joe-verses.

Shipwreck: I wouldn’t go that far…

Clutch: Are you kidding me? There’s like a thousand years worth of continuity to sift through!

Shipwreck: Although I think Yoda was alive for all of it…

Clutch: That’s a discussion for another day.

tFidy: We out…

Shipwreck: Peace!!

Go Bayside!!!

Clutch: We have a special guest with us today.

Shipwreck: The man who put the ‘Pal’ in Principal...

tFidy: Bayside’s own Principal Belding!

















Mr. B: Thanks boys great to be here. I really enjoy your blog!

Clutch: Thanks… ah … what should we call you? Principal Belding? Mr. Belding?

Mr. B: We are all adults here. Mr. B would be fine. Shipwreck, you grew up in California right? Did you go to high school near Bayside?

Shipwreck: No, I’m from Southern California. I went to Carver in LA. We played Bayside in the state basketball tournament my senior year.







Mr. B: I knew the Principal there, Eli Buchanan. Great woman… had her hands full there. Clutch where are you from?

Clutch: Jersey.

Mr. B: Really? Mrs. B and I love Bruce Springsteen!

Shipwreck: Clutch is like a character out of a Springsteen song

tFidy: If there’s ever a movie about the BiA, Joey Lawrence would play Clutch.










Mr. B: tFidy, you’re a droid? I have a droid phone … are you guys cousins?

tFidy: Ah… yeah… so what have you been up to? How are things at Bayside?

Mr. B: Retired a few years back and have been touring the country giving talks on education.






Shipwreck: It’s good work if you can find it!

Clutch: Hear much from your old students?

Mr. B: As you probably know, Screech worked as my assistant for several years at Bayside. He got an offer to work as an assistant principal at a private school. Not sure of the details, but it ended badly. Heard he opened a martial arts studio. Get a Christmas card every year from him and his cat Mr. Bo Jangles.

tFidy: Wow! Anyone else?

Mr. B: AC Slater owns a car dealership in the area. I just bought Mrs. B a Volvo there, he took good care of us.

Shipwreck: How about Zack and Kelly?

Mr. B: Haven’t seen them in ages. Heard Zack is working at a law firm with another Bayside Alum. Not sure, but I think he and Kelly may have split up… Zack old buddy if you are reading this, give your old pal Mr. B a shout out and give me the 4-1-1.




Clutch: What are you doing with your free time?

Mr. B: I’m a big movie buff. My favorite movie this summer was the Expendables. Old school butt kicking action film, best performance by Stallone in years; but Mickey Rourke stole the show.






Shipwreck: He reminded me of this guy Jorge from my neighborhood. Ran a tattoo place, smoked way too many cigarettes and always had the skankiest ladies … and I use that word loosely… hanging around, but if you ever needed anything “handled” he was your guy.

tFidy: It was good to see Cordelia again too. Hope she’s in the sequel.

Clutch: What other movies do you like?

Mr. B: Mrs. B was really into the Twilight series. She read all the books and we’ve watched the movies together. We are Team Jacob all the way. He reminds me of a super natural version of AC Slater.

tFidy: We’ve seen those movies too. Kind of contrary to everything we knew about vampires, but a good story.

Clutch: But Bella is such a whiney pain bee-otch!

Mr. B: Troubled girl. We had a girl like her at Bayside, named Tori. Between us, I never cared for her.

















Mr. B: Mrs. B. and I are also big Potheads...

Shipwreck: Excuse me?

Mr. B: We’re huge Harry Potter Fans. Really looking forward to Deathly Hollows coming out around Thanksgiving.

Clutch: Do you see any similarities between Hogwarts and Bayside?

Mr. B: Definitely! We had a family just like the Weasleys. The MacDougalls, 5 boys and they were always getting into trouble. I tell you those boys spent a lot of time in my office!

Mr. B: Hermione Granger is so smart. She’s like a young Jesse Spano.

Shipwreck: Yeah; but Jesse had bigger…

Clutch: Spells!

Mr B: You know what show you boys should check out is “White Collar.” Very smart show and there’s something endearing about one of the main characters.


























tFidy: Speaking of endearing, after our recent interview with Skeletor, we’ve gotten a lot of feedback from our readers concerning Winnie vs. Topanga. Where do you stand?

Mr B: They are both a little too young for me. Just between us guys, I’m more of a Pinky Tuscadaro, Valarie Bertenelli kind of guy:






















Clutch: Of course you are! What other fun facts do you have for us?

Mr. B: I love fish tacos and have been known to drive over 200 miles to try one at a new place.

Shipwreck: Do they serve them at the Max?

Mr. B: They do…. I’d say they are in my top 5 favorites. I’m trying to get the guy from Man vs. Food to go there and eat their mega burger. It’s a heart attack on a plate, but it’s so good!

Clutch: Sounds delish!

Mr. B: I’ve been meaning to ask you guys… you know some pretty high powered people, time travelers and the like… think you could introduce me to one? I’d like to be sent back to Bayside in the 90’s as a teenager and be one of the gang.

Clutch: Great idea, get me some mouse and acid washed jeans and I’ll be right behind you!

Shipwreck: Mr. B you want to take Kelly to the prom don’t you?

Mr. B: No, she was Zack’s girl. I’d go for Lisa.

tFidy: Good choice - She was very underrated.

Clutch: We’ll make some calls and see what we can do.

Mr. B: Boys this was fun. We should be Facebook friends.

tFidy: We’re on it Mr B!

Shipwreck: We Out!

Clutch: Peace!

Rolling the Bones...

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Back From JoeCon!

A dedication to the customizers...

Clutch: Z’up?

Shipwreck: We just got back from JoeCon in Providence RI . We would have blogged sooner but…

tFidy: Shipwreck just sobered up!

Clutch: It was quite a trip! flew out of Philly...

Shipwreck: Breakfast sandwiches at Chickie and Pete’s and had a few Crabby Mary’s.

tFidy: Bloody Mary’s with old bay seasoning –so good!

Clutch: We roll into Providence and end up in this quaint little place:


























Shipwreck: Tough place, good drink specials… we had some stuffies!

Clutch: A Rhode Island delicacy, that’s kind of like clams casino with extra breading. Good local flavor.

Shipwreck: After hanging out there for a while we ended up at another bar where there was this kickin’ band playing there called “Kung Fu Grip.”






Clutch: These guys rocked it out! That lead singer had a seriously angry vibe.

tFidy: Which is only fitting… a lot of the Joe Fans we met were pretty angry.

Shipwreck: It has to do with the continuity issues, Marvel, Cartoon, DDP, ROC, Resolute, IDW; it's getting hard to keep track!

Clutch: The Adventure Team guys seemed pretty laid back.

tFidy: I think that’s just a 70’s thing… besides those guys made their own continuity. No outside sources messing with their Joe World!

Shipwreck: Right on!

tFidy: Anyway, Rhode Island is a whacky little place, strange laws, one of which is no droids in an establishment that serves alcohol and has live music. So, I had to leave that bar and I went and visited my friend Pete:





...We used to work together at the Trade Federation. He’d moved to Rhode Island a few years back. He’s playing Johnny 5 in the Off, Off Broadway production of “Short Circuit: the Musical." Good to see him again… although I had that song “Who’s Johnny?” stuck in my head since we got back!

Clutch: Shipwreck and I had a late night and he was pretty hurting the next day. He laid around all morning watching reruns of McCale’s Navy while I played a pickup basketball game in the hotel gym.




Shipwreck: After Clutch got back from playing hoops, I was feeling better, so we headed out to breakfast. Ran into a few old friends...




Clutch: LJ when are you coming back Babe? It appears that DDP continuity is being completely ignored, so how come you and your fine self are not appearing in at least one of the continuities IDW is running?

Shipwreck: I smell a conspiracy!

tFidy: It was free comic book day the weekend we were there. Luckily we were able to locate a comic shop in the area.




Clutch: I also got to check out this tricked out ride. Got to take it for a spin in the parking lot; it was ridiculous! And in Adventure Team Yellow!




tFidy: The Con only had a few unsavory characters...




Shipwreck: But overall I pretty fun and relaxing time...