Shipwreck: Joining us from an unknown location…
tFidy: Here to talk about the Joe Movie and more… the Queen of Mean, the Lady in Leather... The First Lady of Cobra - Anatasia DeCobray… AKA The Baroness!
Baroness: It has been a while Joes. Shipwreck you must be very disappointed that you weren’t in the new Rise of Cobra movie. Clutch, You haven’t even appeared in the new comic. Now you are reduced to telling silly jokes with this odd looking machine from the tired Star Wars Franchise. How very sad.
Clutch: Charming as always...
tFidy: Well then… getting right to it Ana… can I call you Ana?
Baroness: No, do not get too familiar with me machine.
tFidy: Oooookayy…. So what did you think of Sienna Miller’s portrayal of you in the recent GI Joe Movie?
Baroness: She did well with what she was given. Certainly she is pretty enough to play the part…
And has all the right assets, but they have as a blonde? And an American? That disgusted me!
Shipwreck: Where is your accent from exactly?
Baroness: Europe.
Clutch: Can you be more specific?
Baroness: No.
tFidy: So you didn’t like the Baroness starting out as a blonde, American girl?
Baroness: Absolutely not. In that flashback scene she looked like a sorority girl named Trish…She should have had a Tri Delt sweatshirt on. To make matters worse she was having a romance with Duke! Who wrote this crap?
Shipwreck: In the comics you seemed to have some sort of thing with Flint. What was that all about?
Baroness: Flint was hot, stupid, but hot… much better looking than that annoying Captain America want to be Duke. Besides his attraction to me annoyed Lady Jaye, which was a bonus.
Clutch: You have issues with LJ?
Baroness: Oh yes, she is all “look at me… and my big Javelins, I’m the Power Girl of the GI Joe Universe.” If the new publisher ever brings her back, I will make her wish they didn’t!
tFidy: Speaking of cat fights, your character had a pretty good cat fight in the Joe Movie with Scarlett.
Baroness: I think Sienna said it best, “that Red Head really pisses me off!”
Shipwreck: Any other thoughts on your character in the movie?
Baroness: Her relationship with Cobra Commander?? Well without giving anything away, I’ll say it was a surprise and honestly a little creepy. As for the way they left it with her character… if they bring her back as a Joe in the sequel, I will blow up the studio before production is complete. Oh and Destro was a weasel. If her character is anything like me, she will need at least one man on the side to keep her happy. Perhaps Tomax and Xamot.
Clutch: It’s gotta be a little bit tough working in a mostly male environment like Cobra. I know the last time you and Zarana crossed paths you beat her senseless. You two friends now?
Baroness: She is trash! She is an ally when it suits me, but if she gets in my way I will break her.
Shipwreck: Some Fan Boys on the web feel that Veronica Lodge from Archie comics grew up to be ‘the Baroness’. What are your thoughts on this?
Baroness: The internet is full of idiots. Besides if I was Veronica, I would have run that blonde tramp Betty out of town years ago, and I certainly wouldn’t have wasted my affections on that half-wit Archie.
Clutch: Do you know any other “Super Villians” outside of Cobra?
Baroness: I just went to a Villian’s Seminar in Metropolis. Lex Luthor gave a fascinating talk on the “Hidden Cost of Henchmen”. There’s a huge backend cost with personal troops… uniforms, health plans, cleaning services… 401 k. These days you can’t get quality troops without a health and retirement plan. Plus you have to build a cafeteria. It’s pretty hard to keep your bases location secret if your troops are going to Quiznos for lunch in their uniforms everyday.
Shipwreck: Some good points. Any other villains you are friends with?
Baroness: Destro and I went out to dinner with Doctor Doom and Morgana Le Fey recently.
Not many people know what a great sense of humor Victor has.
Evil Lyn, from Masters of the Universe, and I hang out sometimes. We shop, talk about being evil. I’ve gone to Eternia a few times; there are some great beaches there.
tFidy: I always wondered if Evil Lyn and Teela ever...
Baroness: Machine, you read too much Maxim. Now I know your sophomoric tendency to ask off color questions so I have prepared answers to three:
1) Only on Tuesdays.
2) Once at a Cobra Island Beach Party.
3) The Cobra emblem.
tFidy: What are the questions?
Baroness: That is up to you to figure out. You bore me. The interview is over!
Shipwreck: Well that went well.
Clutch: Fans any idea what questions she was answering?
tFidy: Let us know- Think of it as the lastest BiA Challenge. I know you all have good imaginations, give us your best guess – another BiA Prize pack is on the line!
Shipwreck: That’s all we have time for now
Clutch: Peace! We out!
