tFidy: Guys, I’m seriously confused!
Clutch: What’s the problem?
tFidy: I’m trying to keep things straight in the GI Joe stuff out there… and it’s got my head spinning!
Shipwreck: Can’t you get replacement parts when that happens?
tFidy: I’m being serious… there’s the new Joe Comic, which is basically a re-launch, similar with a modern take to it. Then there’s the “Real American Hero” comic, which picks up where the Marvel series ended… the Joes are outlaws, it’s got a very 90’s vibe to it.
Shipwreck: Which we like! Makes me want to catch an episode of Wings.
tFidy: I knew this maintenance droid who reminded me of Lowell… but he didn’t go to Murray’s Institute of Tools, funny guy…
Clutch: Did you notice that I was in the latest issue? Finally!
tFidy: That was cool. This book has ninjas, the brain wave scanner and the Baroness getting it on with Cobra Commander’s son Billy.
Shipwreck: It’s a cool book, but those aren’t exactly my favorite Joe things...
Clutch: Great picture of you on the cover there Ship!
tFidy: Ok, so I’m jumbling the two divergent continuities…
Shipwreck: Somebody stayed up too late watching Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns…
tFidy: And then I pickup a copy of GIJ Future Noir...
Clutch: Yeah that’s GI Joe in name only.
Shipwreck: It’s a mix of Super Joe, Blade Runner, the New Mutants/X Force with a dash of Caprica Appleseed.
tFidy: Finally that brings me to the GI Joe: Renegades cartoon. Like the Real American Hero comic the Joes are outlaws, and a good deal younger…
Clutch: The The Rise of Cobra, movie version of Ripcord is in it. He’s the “hip hop” version of me by the way … and he coined all the nicknames, so cool!
Shipwreck: Too bad he got killed off in the second ep!
Clutch: I’m hoping it goes all Captain America - he’s just stuck in a time loop and comes back from the dead.
Shipwreck: Wouldn’t hold my breath on that... Lady Jaye is in it though! We haven’t seen her since Hansen was “Um-bopping” their way up the pop charts.
Clutch: What with LJ’s accent? She from Brooklyn now? Let me tell you something, no one at Bryn Marw College talks like that.
Shipwreck: Still good to see her though… I think “classic” Lady Jaye - the hat and button down shirt, is showing up in next issue of “Real American Hero" brawling with the Baroness! It could be one for the ages!
tFidy: Check out how much the “young” Dukes from Noir and Renegade and look like Cannonball from XForce (top of the cover)!
Shipwreck: Roadblock reminds me of Ryun from Gatchaman.
Clutch: Mindbender’s young… no monocle and he has hair! He looks like a villain from Kim Possible. We loved KP, I’m just saying…
tFidy: Cobra fronts as a pharmaceutical company… I knew those companies were bad news!
Shipwreck: The voice of General Hawk is Lee Majors (the $6 Million Man), so that’s kind of like having Mike Power making a cameo!
Clutch: And Scarlett is one of the girls from Saved by the Bell – the New Class.
tFidy: Funny how it always comes back to “The Bell!”
Shipwreck: Thing is Fids, each of the continuities out there have one or two things in common, but there’s only a few you can count on across all of them.
Clutch: The Baroness always wears glasses…
Shipwreck: …Snake Eyes never talks…
Clutch: ...and Storm Shadow’s always bat sh*t crazy!
Shipwreck: We put together this matrix to help you keep it all straight:
tFidy: Thanks, that helps clear a few things up. Think I’m going to hang with the Adventure Team fans, give those guys a yellow jump suit, a backpack helicopter & a Bulletman custom and they’re happy!
Clutch: And Yetis… those guys love Yetis… don’t know why…
Shipwreck: It’s a 70’s thing… like Vans.
tFidy: Think we can pick-up some Star Wars comics? There’s thousands of characters, but it’s easier to keep straight than the multiple Joe-verses.
Shipwreck: I wouldn’t go that far…
Clutch: Are you kidding me? There’s like a thousand years worth of continuity to sift through!
Shipwreck: Although I think Yoda was alive for all of it…
Clutch: That’s a discussion for another day.
tFidy: We out…
Shipwreck: Peace!!
